May 18, 2024


Don't Mess With Baby

The Surprise of a Lifetime

7 min read
The Surprise of a Lifetime


Megan and Nicole dreamt of starting to be mothers a person working day, but very little could have geared up them for how their journey to parenthood unfolded. From initial conversations with an OB/GYN to working with a fertility clinic, checking out their family members-setting up alternatives, a stunning pregnancy, and welcoming their very little kinds, they took a single phase at a time and held transferring forward.

This is their story, informed in Megan”s own words. Love!

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Family members Arranging as an LGBTQ+ Few

The two of us have normally acknowledged that we required to be mothers. I always realized that I wanted to carry young children, whilst Nicole generally knew that she didn’t. It was in essence a match designed in LBGTQ+ heaven when it arrived to family planning.

Notice: Quite a few LGBTQ+ couples make your mind up early on about which companion will endeavor being pregnant very first (because of to age, genetics or other aspects), and some, like Megan and Nicole, know that only a single of them needs to carry a pregnancy. These are vital selections to go over with your OB/GYN or fertility specialist! 

Obviously we can not have any “oopsie toddlers,” and have to go as a result of some considerable arranging in buy to have young children. We realized that we needed to start out the approach in Slide 2021 as Nicole was finishing up her Master’s degree, as soon as she did not have university using up all her time any more.

I (Megan) talked with my OB/GYN at my annual look at-up in 2020, and was instructed to make contact with her all over again about 2-3 months ahead of we preferred to commence the procedure. My OB/GYN encouraged we operate with Illume Fertility (previously RMA of Connecticut), and we retained the fertility clinic’s title in our back pocket as we commenced collecting much more facts about household setting up.

Getting Perception from Friends

We spoke with some university acquaintances who are also LBGTQ+ and have three youngsters of their own, considering the fact that there is very little details effortlessly available out there. Thankfully, they were quite inclined to give some information and facts and perception into how they started out their family members.

We also talked with some shut mates who have been just setting up their approach with Illume (they welcomed a gorgeous toddler woman just a thirty day period prior to us), and they gave us some a lot more information on the distinct assessments that they had to go through, and gave extra certain insight into fertility cure.


Photos: Spoiler alert! Megan & Nicole announce their pregnancy.

At-Dwelling Insemination vs Fertility Clinic

We at first thought of seeking to conceive on our possess at residence, but then made a decision that there have been much too numerous unknown variables with that system, like how to get the sperm vials to our home, what the finest syringe is, when in my cycle we ought to do the insemination, if we essential to use several vials and consider on various days to increase our odds of acquiring pregnant, thinking if I was even fertile or if there was nearly anything regarding about my reproductive program, and many others.

All of these unknowns led us to stick to the referral to Illume, and start out our spouse and children-developing process with the enable of specialists.

Making a Plan with Our Workforce

We 1st fulfilled with reproductive endocrinologist Dr. Cynthia Murdock for a virtual session in August 2021, and immediately realized that we preferred to continue on with her as our health care provider. We discussed that for this being pregnant we preferred to use my (Megan’s) eggs, but in the long term, we would want to take into consideration using Nicole’s and attempt reciprocal IVF.

Dr. Murdock and her staff rapidly set up all of the appointments we ended up heading to will need, from genetic tests, blood operate, and ultrasounds, to the consults with the social worker and the genetic counselor.

We were being very thankful for the seek advice from with the two the social worker and genetic counselor as they helped us to identify the ideal sperm bank to use, dangers of deciding upon particular donors, as perfectly as get us pondering about how significantly we preferred to share with our family members, and how to discuss to our young children when they get more mature and commence obtaining issues about their donor and their conception.

Which path is right for you?

IUI vs IVF Fertility Treatment

Starting off IUI Fertility Treatment

After my fertility assessments all arrived back again crystal clear, we were provided the clearance to obtain our sperm vials and have some despatched to the business in anticipation of insemination working day. I did get some fertility medicines to stimulate my ovaries to generate a lot more than just one egg, with the hope that it would improve the chances of just one of them using (as we were undertaking IUI).

On Oct 23rd, we went to Illume’s Norwalk business for our IUI process. Of program, we have been quite nervous the two weeks after our IUI to see if it was effective, and ended up having an at-dwelling pregnancy check a few days just before bloodwork confirmed it. We both equally cried when we observed “pregnant” on the take a look at!

Thankfully, I received expecting on the very first consider, which we know is an remarkable blessing, as it does not take place for anyone.

Just one little one or two?

Immediately after I got my bloodwork back confirming the being pregnant, we couldn’t help but convey to all of our fast family members associates.

For Nicole’s side of the family members, it was a actually huge deal, as this pregnancy would provide their very first grandkids/terrific grandkids/niblings. My facet of the loved ones was also extremely thrilled, and my brother and his household had been fired up to eventually have niblings considering that their possess young children were being ages 2 and 6 at the time.  

When we gained my 1st bloodwork success and they advised us our beta HCG quantity, Nicole instantly experienced the gut experience that maybe we were owning more than a single toddler. Two weeks afterwards when we had our initial ultrasound, we uncovered out that we had been, in truth, having TWINS!

Notice: Intrauterine insemination (IUI) and some fertility drugs can increase your chances of acquiring twins. Generally focus on the execs and negatives of unique treatment method methods with your medical doctor before commencing your journey.


Images: Megan & Nicole’s twin ladies, Charlotte & Spencer.

Our Twin Being pregnant Encounter

I experienced a very unremarkable and simple pregnancy. We made a decision to continue to keep the sexes of our twins a key for us to obtain out in the shipping and delivery place. We have been certain that at the very least one of them was heading to be a boy. To our total shock, we have been blessed to have two remarkable tiny women: Charlotte Poppy and Spencer Annabeth, born mid-June 2022.

They arrived a couple of weeks early, and invested a short stint in the NICU, but have been thriving because remaining house. They just turned 1 thirty day period aged and passed their due date. All of our household and close friends are absolutely obsessed with them, and whilst we are biased, we believe they are the cutest infants in the earth.

What We have Uncovered About LGBTQ+ Household Creating

The full course of action of our fertility treatment options at Illume was so extraordinary, and we have recommended the observe to all of our LGBTQ+ buddies. We have also advised Illume for our straight close friends and family members users as they commence to consider possessing small children, to seem into the genetic screening to assure that their genetics really do not clash in approaches that can cause difficulties for their long run small children.

We really suggest reaching out to other LGBTQ+ families and mastering about their fertility journey and understanding about the distinctive selections you have to produce your family members, as properly as obtaining an individual as a support procedure to communicate factors by way of with so you know that you are not on your own.

Listen to from a lot more LGBTQ+ mothers:

Kassie & Sam's IVF Journey

We also very recommend getting total benefit of the insights that Illume’s social employee and genetic counselor can give. They had been integral in our fertility procedure! Devoid of their help, I really do not imagine we would have experienced the very same confidence in our preference of sperm donor, agreeing on what we are willing to share with our good friends and loved ones, and how we will speak to our kids in the potential about how they came to be.

We still have a handful of sperm vials still left for foreseeable future pregnancies, and glimpse ahead to doing work with the crew at Illume again when we are completely ready to broaden our family. Proper now, our twin women are maintaining our arms whole!

Editor’s Take note: A huge thank you to Megan and Nicole for sharing their journey to motherhood with us. We’re so grateful to all of the LGBTQ+ families who pick out to share their ordeals and insights with our community. Want to share your tale? Concept us on Instagram to learn more!

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